The other day, when I reminded my daughter to tuck in the other front tail of her shirt, she informed me that, “Mom, that’s the fashion nowadays.” Really? Am I out of touch! But that’s nothing new, I guess, considering fashions change as quickly as the weather. When I was a girl…Oh, let’s not go there. But it is rather fun to think about such things…and laugh, most of the time.
One of my complaints was always “Ship and Shore, you make me poor!” Who remembers that brand of shirts? They came in all sorts of shapes and styles, and were well within my price range…except I loved so many of them that I could easily spend a fortune anyway. One shirt I found matched my current boyfriend’s orange, white and yellow striped shirt, so, naturally, I had to buy it. But we never left the shirttails untucked. And certainly not just one. Times change…
No more housedresses either. And that one I’m not sorry to see go. I picture all of those yard decorations that show a “hefty” woman’s backside as she bends over to garden. Always in a housedress too. Yikes! That and the ubiquitous apron. No, not one of those frilly things, but a full-on, covers it all, apron. Actually, I have one of those, and it’s much better than splattering cake batter all over my front. Plus, I can just run my hands down the front instead of rinsing off the little glop of goop, and then having to hang up the towel again. Maybe that fashion statement wasn’t so dumb after all. I picture my husband’s grandmother coming in from the garden. She discards her gloves, runs her hands down the apron and whips it off. “Come on, let’s go…”
Along with that last picture, comes the sight of white ankle socks and white wedge sandals. Not the best look, I’ll tell you! But pinch your lips shut and keep quiet! It’s just as bad, I think, when men wear black dress socks with white tennies. Fashionista?…or Flub? Although, socks with sandals have gone in an out of style since forever. One type of “socks” I’ve been happy to see bite the dirt are the stockings that attach to garters. Personally, even pantyhose can rot in my dresser. But those girdles and garters! Yikes! I love writing about women back in the 1920s, sliding up their flapper dresses to reveal that little bit of skin above the band of silk stocking, and the precious little garter holding it all up. Sounds so…No, it doesn’t. Not to anyone who had to struggle with tugging up a girdle while being flogged by those flailing garters hanging down. Burn our girdles, ladies, not your bras!
The other end of the anatomy was, and is, so much better: the head. I love hats. I mourn the passing of the everyday hat. Used to be that everyone wore a hat to church, to travel, to go to the theater. Not so much anymore, unless we’re talking about winter in Wisconsin. Then, anything goes. Low-pile fleece that gracefully curves down over the ears, with long ties with tassels or pompoms on the end: toasty! Cloches that look like upside down salad bowls: great for wind control. Scarves wrapped like turbans for those foolish enough to go out without a hat and must improvise: if you do it right, it can be downright fashionable. Fedora types look great…but they don’t do much when it’s sleeting, or when the winds come whistling down the plains. The best are those big furry things with earflaps; you know the ones that deer hunters and snowmobilers don’t go without. Bring ‘em on when the temps drop. At that point, fashion goes out the window. It’s survival of the fittest, and those of us living in the Snow Zone are some of the fittest…or some of the most foolish-looking. Take your pick.
Some fashions never change, and some come around again. I guess that means, never clean out your closet!